You'll never know
by jelo
Summary: Sequel to "But he didn't" ...Hanamichi love Kaede, Kaede confesses his love to Hanamichi but he turned him down... why? A RuHana fic.


Disclaimer:  Again folks I DON'T OWN SLAM DUNK!!! I only borrowed some of the characters and put them in my own made story plot. In short, I don't own anything except the plot of the story… and the song, well… I don't own them either, but I DO want to claim them… eheheh! LOL!!!

Crescent Quetzacotl:  Sorry, I don't know if this story will turn out to have a happy ending or not, but I promise you that I'd try hard.

Devil: here's the 'word' or 'phrase' for that matter that you want to know, read on…

Yumehime Yana Hossuru:  hey! Sorry to make you sad… heheh… kinda in the mood for it, but yes! I'll continue and here's the next story! Hope yah like this chapter too…

I'm up again!!!  Sorry for waiting, I was actually going to upload this story a few days back but some problems came up.  But nevertheless, here is the sequel, or rather the continuation chapter of "But He Didn't" in other storyline….

By the way, the title of the song I used is _Someday by All 4 One_

And this is taken out of Sakuragi Hanamichi's mind… in other words, it's Hana's POV again followed by the normal POV…

Hope yah all enjoy!

So now, as usual, I'm presenting to yah….

**_YOU"LL NEVER KNOW_**

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Someday when we are wiser,   
When the world's older,   
When we have learned.   
I pray someday we may yet live to live and let live.

_~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~_

It's been a week, _one whole damn week_!!!  DAMN!  I can't let this get through me… I can't let _him get through me… __no! no! no! NO!  I simply can't… for his sake and for mine.  Kami-sama, please help me through this, please…_

I felt tears started forming in my choco deep-colored eyes, and usually I will hold them at bay, but now, I just let them fall freely… like water falling from the falls.  A sob escaped me followed by another, then another, and before I knew it, I was growling and howling with pain.  Crying my heart out because of that… that… that… raven-haired, fox-eyed boy!  He can't do this to me… I won't let him do this to me… not after every hard effort I made in the past to hold my defenses against him… not now… please…

*FLASHBACK*

As usual, after the practice, we remained to do the checking of the things that we used and will use the next practice.  The night is calm, intoxicatingly peaceful, and so quiet that even a drop of pin would be heard all through out the gym.

Today run as usual as the other days had, me doing some more basics with Ayako and _him playing with so much passion as the other times.  A few insults here, a few arguments there and several fights ending with the both of us on the floor soothing our aching head that earned a punch from Gori each._

And although today was not that different at all, I felt that something is coming… something that I felt, would change my life forever.  But as stubborn as I was, I just bury the feeling to the deepest part of my mind and heart along with the feelings I have with a certain Shohoku super rookie.

But as time pass and everything fell into the dark, the uneasiness I felt inside came back with such force but I barely controlled it.  But I guess I was stronger than that, because once I felt it, I hastily calmed them back and again, buried them inside me.

As I looked up from what I'm doing, my eyes caught the sight of Rukawa Kaede spacing out into nothingness.  It's as if he was dreaming with his eyes wide open.  _That baka!  he never gets anything done because he fell aslept on his choirs!  Once this thoughts run through my brain, I did what Sakuragi Hanamichi normally do… shout at him…_

"Oi, kitsune!"  I heard myself say as I watch him snapped out of his supposedly dream, then I continued… "Get back to work so we can go home, I don't wanna stay here forever!" 

"Do'aho!  If you can't be patient then leave…" he said, returning the insult I've given him.  

"Teme Kitsune!  How dare you call me that?!  And for your information, I can't leave… Gori said I can't without you… DAMN!" again I threw him that insult, but unbeknown to him, I said it half-heartedly, with my heart aching with every word.

"hmmmpp"  that's what I heard him say.

Letting the matter drop for awhile, I turn around to continue my work.  I know that he has the grace of a panther but I never knew that his grace and agility is that sufficient because before I even hear the sound of a foot step, I felt a pair of arm around me.  And what did I do?  I panicked!  And it resulted in making my body shake all the while sending electricity to my spine, up and down.  Consuming my whole entity.  Once I get a little hold of myself, I struggled to get lose from his grip… once, twice, thrice… heck! I didn't even know that he's this strong or I'm this… well… not strong.  Then when I thought that I would lose all my remaining strength, I was a good meter away from him.  And I said what first came into my jumbled and confused mind….

"Teme kitsune! What the hell was that for? Why'd you do that Fox?"  I know that because of my current situation, the disgust voice that should come out drenched it's venom and became a little more than a whisper.

"I love you."

There!  He said it… the three little words that I anticipated to hear from him ever since I can remember but now, it felt like a ton of bricks falling onto my head.  _Not now please… take it back… not now… you're already six months late.  That run through my head along with the fact that he's so casual about it and almost as if stating something like the weather.  My feelings for him came rushing back, among these are the faith, trust, fear, pain and… love.  Faith in him, trust in his abilities, fear of the pain, pain cause by the time, or rather little time I have, and love for the person in front me.  And I know that everything I have in my mind is parading before his eyes with the shock I feel about the news.  I just wished he hadn't seen everything, hadn't seen my feelings for him._

Still incompletely believing in him or his confession, I said what first came in my mind.  "Nan da?  Baka Kitsune!  DON"T play tricks on the tensai!"  I know that my voice rised, and I know that it became fierce, I just hope it's enough to make him take what he said back, although a part of me totally disagree.  But I guess he's much stubborn than I thought he would be for he rephrase what he said and continue to confess what he feels.

"I love you Hanamichi and I'm not playing tricks on you, _please _believe me…"   he begged?  I never thought he'd beg.  Especially to me… but still… "I've loved you since I first saw you.  I've loved you through our arguments.  Hell, that's the only time I ever get you to speak to me or notice me.  That's why I kept insulting you, to get your attention.  I loved you, I love you, and I will always love you.  God knows how much I tried to console these feelings, bury them to the farthest part of the world or throw them to the deepest ocean, but I just can't forget you or get over you for that matter."

Shocked at his confessions and his feelings, I decided to stay quiet… eerily quiet for that matter.  I know he's waiting for my reply.  Although my heart shouted to let lose of myself to his love, my mind screamed otherwise.  Telling me that sooner than even I could believe, I'd be hurt and so will he.  And I don't want that, I don't want him to get hurt.  No! I won't allow that.  He should be happy… he should stay happy.  I won't be the one to hurt him deeply in no record time.  

I saw tears pooling in his ocean-deep eyes and my mask started to crack, so I turned around to gather my strength because I know that I can't see him cry.  I can never bear that.  I started for the door, itching to get away and pour my pain out yet a huge part of me wanted to run my arms around him and soothe him and protect him from this pain that I inflicted. As my hands are reaching for the knob, a thought hit me, 'I should tell him why, I should give him an answer.  One he deserves.'  So I stopped in the middle of opening the gym door then give him what I can give.  The answer.

"I can't, you know, love you back… because… because any minute of any time my life will be taken.  Kit…Rukawa, I have leukemia and only a few more weeks to live."  Surprisingly, my voice never faltered, I accepted my fate months back, but my inside was churning and breaking.

As I stepped out of the door, I risked my resolve and took a look at him.  He's looking down to the floor, tears streaming down his beautiful eyes… Gods… I can't bear this anymore.  So I run, as far as my tired feet could take me, far from what I believe, is the source of the pain and far from the one I love and treasure so much.

*END OF FLASHBACK* 

Since that fateful incident, a week ago, Sakuragi Hanamichi decided that it's for the best that he stay as far away from Rukawa Kaede as possible.  He almost totally withdrew himself from him with so success and with little slip ups.

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Someday life will be fairer,   
Need will be rarer   
Greed will not pay.   
God speed this bright millennium on its way.   
Let it come someday.

_~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~_

Hugging and tugging at his lone pillow, Sakuragi Hanamichi cried his heart out like the other nights since that fateful day.  He could never believe it but he successfully controlled himself from everything involving his love.  

"Damn night!"  he whispered, "I can't seem to find sleep and HE keeps getting into me. GGGGGRRRRRRRRR……."

So what he did, he stood up from his bed, took a descent pair of warm clothes, and took off out his apartment and down to a street he recognize so well… 'Just this once, I would like to get even a glimpse of him, then I could rest with less pain.'

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Someday our fight will be won then,   
We'll stand in the sun then,   
That bright afternoon.  

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He stopped at an apartment not that far from his, and starred at a certain window of a certain brunette basketball player.  He was hoping to see his love, even a glimpse but none of it came out.  "I guess he's asleep," he whispered, "Hmmmmm….." deciding that everything is okay, he started saying his true intention of coming to Rukawa's house, "someday love, when everything is at peace and my fight is done, I would come back for you… then we'll be together forever…. Someday…. Just not now, not when I'm dying, I haven't told you what I really feel right?! Well… I LOVE YOU, Rukawa Kaede, MY kitsune, MY only love… I loved you since the first time, I love you through the whole time, and I'll love you through forever… I know that you don't hear this and you won't hear this from me this life time, but when the next chance is given, I'll be glad to shout to the world that I love you!  I love you, but I guess you'll never know."  

With that said, he continue to stare at his love's window then quietly walked away.  As it he hasn't been there.  As if everything he's said hasn't been uttered.  But it did happened.  Only, the person whom the visit was for hadn't seen him let alone heard what he said, the words that will free his aching heart… but he didn't knew what happened, and probably will never find out.  Guess you'll never really know… Rukawa Kaede, ne?!

Guess again!!!  Everything is quiet, everything is clear… he hadn't heard what Hanamichi said, he hadn't known about the visit, and probably will never know if it wasn't for a pair of blue-eyes that accidentally got to a right place at the wrong time and wisely made his presence unknown.  _He heard everything, _he _knew everything, but will he tell or keep his mind and mouth shut?  'What should I do?' was the last thoughts of this _man _before he made his own way home._

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Till then, on days when the sun is gone,   
We'll hang on,   
Wish upon the moon.   
  
Change will come one day,   
Someday soon.

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~THE END (?)~

**SOMEDAY **by All 4 One

Someday when we are wiser,   
When the world's older,   
When we have learned.   
I pray someday we may yet live to live and let live.   
  
Someday life will be fairer,   
Need will be rarer   
Greed will not pay.   
God speed this bright millennium on its way.   
Let it come someday.   
  
Someday our fight will be won then,   
We'll stand in the sun then,   
That bright afternoon.   
  
Till then, on days when the sun is gone,   
We'll hang on,   
Wish upon the moon.   
  
Change will come one day,   
Someday soon.

Something to ponder about:

Who is the mystery man that heard Hanamichi's confession?  That knew everything?  Will Rukawa find out the true reason of Hanamichi's actions?  Will the blue-eyed man tell?  And will he tell it in time?  What happened to Sakuragi after he walked away?

Author's note:

Sorry, a little crappy… hmmm…. Liked it? Hate it? Please review… I always liked cliffhangers, so I guess I'll be chopping it down to here.  Well, if you'd like to know who the _guy _is, leave your request.  Thanks a lot guyz for reading!  And by the way, I made this story in one sitting, so I guess it needs a little grammar checking and I'm too lazy for that so I'm leaving to you guyz the burden of checking my grammar… hehehehehe…. jokes…. I haven't edited this yet so please spare me the flame, I'll do justice next time! Thanks again guys….!!!!!!!! (*_,*)


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